Sharing the Chore Duty / by Laura Kett

Chores:  Most of us do not need to take on the full load when it comes to chores – though there are always circumstances, like living solo, that require it.  Talk with your children and partner. List some critical things that you think have to be done in your house.  Get their ideas, too! For example in the food area it might include: making a grocery list, meal planning, food prep, set and clear the table, clean up.  Your child’s future roommate will thank you for teaching them this approach. 

Write up the responsibilities with your children to minimize nagging (not that it will eliminate it).  Do some training if necessary to make sure you both have the same understanding of what a clean bathroom is, for example. If you do get resistance (and of course you will), you could try natural consequences.  If they don’t empty the trash, put it all in their room – especially the stinky stuff. 

Let them know the plan. Here’s a personal example:  if they don’t do their chore of setting the table, they could go without a plate at the table …depending on the age.  I do have to confess that we tried this with my seven year old granddaughter when she did not set the table following way too many reminders.  We finally just got our own plates, served ourselves and started eating.  When that was discovered, there was a loooong melt-down (not us) proclaiming that we were unfair and did not love her.  So, there’s that.  We forgot to let her know that this was the plan.  Sheesh.  So, let them know the plan ahead of time.

And if it’s a bad day, give grace to yourself and those you live with.